It is not unusual for a person to get stuck in the belief that his or her tragedies, or heavy burdens, or uncertainties about the future, and injustices, and heartbreaks, are singularly more difficult than anyone else’s trials.

And so many people feel like they are suffering alone through all these struggles in life.

But we are not alone in our struggles and suffering.

There is a holy God who understands our pain and walks with us through it all.

Whether you have any belief in God, or not, I encourage you to continue reading this to its conclusion.

Scripture teaches us that “no temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind.” (1 Corinthians 10:13)

Everyone is fighting something—silent battles, feelings of disappointment, hidden fears, family strife, public humiliation, and private heartaches.

While I was walking through the darkest parts of my own deep valleys in life, I usually felt absolutely alone. Throughout many, many years of my adult life, I had almost no awareness of God and knew little of Scripture. I’d never learned about God’s ways, nor did I know about His love for me.

So, I wandered blindly and hopelessly for a long stretch. I remained in a cycle of feeling lost and adrift. I could not grasp that real help (and hope) and safe harbor was available to me.

Then, through a series of astounding events (that, to this day, still seem mysterious to me), Christ opened my eyes to His truth. God rescued me from myself and from the oppressive evil forces that had formed against me and had held me hostage for most of my life. After professing Jesus Christ as my Savior, I was taught the importance of repentance. In a long, difficult period of reflection, I repented of the many transgressions in my own doings throughout my life and asked God for forgiveness. (Contrition is an ongoing state, as it is not possible for any of us to live sinless lives.) After salvation through Jesus Christ, my sanctification has been ongoing, and will continue throughout my lifetime. (Matthew 24:13)

For the first time in my life, I began to understand real love and a real sense of belonging. I learned that my value and my identity are defined by being a beloved child of God.

Perhaps while you’re reading this your prevailing thought is, “This is nice for you, but, I don’t believe in God.”

If that is your perspective—believe me, I understand exactly where you are coming from.

Though the word atheist is not one I ever really used to describe myself during my life before Christ, the term is not far off the mark, considering the worldview I held for far too many years. It is fair to say that I considered religious belief to be foolishness and I was biased against anyone who professed to be a Christian. In fact, before my salvation, if anyone had asked whether I could possibly imagine living as a devoted follower of Christ—my reply would have been an immediate and resounding, “Not a chance.”

However, as I mentioned, through a series of remarkable and mysterious events, my life was radically changed from what it had long been.

In fact, the level of change I experienced seemed so dramatic and powerful and was so comprehensive that, initially, I was at a loss for how to explain it clearly to others, especially to those who had known me for most of my life. Truly, it was like being born again. I understand now why that phrase is used to describe a person’s salvation. In the course of just a few months, my understanding for the realness of God, my ability for discernment, as well as most of my priorities and preferences all changed, significantly.

Practically overnight, it seemed I wanted little to do with my previous lifestyle. Frankly, it seemed as though I had become incapable of tolerating ungodly things and ungodly behavior. I cannot overemphasize the countless changes that occurred in every aspect of my life within a very short amount of time. This is how I came to understand God’s unlimited power. Everything that happened was far beyond my own ability to will into being. Struggles I’d battled for many years (but failed to ever conquer), He blew away like dust in the wind.

For a person like me who had believed in nothing supernatural, I felt disoriented and confused by what I was experiencing.

A verse that was shared with me in those early days of following Christ, helped to clarify how it could be that I felt so overwhelmingly changed.

In 2 Corinthians 5:17 it is explained: “Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old things have passed away. Behold, all things have become new.”

There were many things in those early days that I found both amazing but, at the same time, inexplicable. But over the following months, with every mystifying or perplexing puzzle I encountered, I learned that the Bible provided the missing pieces I needed, so that God’s ways became less and less of a riddle to me.

To be clear though, this new path forward was not without its bumps, twists, and turns.

Firstly, as the heavy veil of this world was lifted from my vision, I began to see worldly things as they truly were. And then I eventually began to see myself clearly for the first time in my life. Also, I came to clearly understand the real implications of my past choices. Initially, these realizations filled me with unbearable sorrow, remorse, and regret. Like many newly saved Christians, I began to doubt whether I could be worthy of Christ’s love or acceptance.

Again, reading and learning Scripture corrected my broken outlook. When I first read Psalm 103:12, the Holy Spirit showed me that through true repentance and by God’s mercy, I had been pardoned fully. Full stop.

At that time, I also began to learn how demonic spirits manipulate our emotions of guilt and self-pity. This is an insidious method that is used to try to separate us from God. By trying to convince us that we are too broken to be loved and too messed up to be accepted into God’s family, evil tries fervently to destroy our bond with Christ and to divide church families.

In my first year as a believer, I encountered another significant stumbling block as well. I began to convince myself that being saved meant that I should somehow be capable of becoming spiritually mature, straightaway. When I failed to achieve that self-imposed ideal, more doubts began creeping in. My misunderstandings about Christianity threatened to derail my faith at one point. You see, I was still clinging to some old habits. In this case, it was the flawed notion of needing to work my way to acceptance. Many Christians fall prey to this idea of “performance-based salvation.” Pride and ego combined with erroneous teachings about God’s Word, often leads to wrongful beliefs in this area. Faithful Bible teachers explained that having this faulty view of the Christian life actually means that we are trying to usurp power that rests only with Christ. Scripture provides absolute clarity on this matter. (Ephesians 2:8-9)

[A friend also suggested reading C. S. Lewis’ The Screwtape Letters. That fascinating book with its unique perspective, reveals how the evil one stealthily weaponizes our tendency towards sinful behavior, with the aim of separating us from God’s kingdom.]

Before I close this introductory message, I want to share a challenge I encountered while drafting the About and Blog pages for this website.

In seeking feedback on my first blog entry and for the overall site design and content, I sensed there were subtle suggestions telling me that I should tone down the overt Christian message I’d drafted. When I asked for clarification on this, the subsequent responses seemed vague and were unhelpful. I couldn’t shake the impression I’d gotten that, in choosing to write a distinctly clear Christ-centered message, I might possibly hinder my objective to grow a fan base for my artwork and other creative projects.

The feedback I received unsettled me enough that I ended up delaying this post for a little while.

In my effort to get this matter sorted, I was able to rely upon advice from a faithful Bible teacher.

Pastor Alistair Begg [TruthForLife.com] teaches the following message consistently: “If you need clarity, open your Bible. If you desire to hear God’s voice, you have only to open His Word.” [Paraphrased.]

So that’s what I did while working on this website and blog: I read my Bible. I prayed. And in that time of reflection, this message formed clearly in my mind.

The truth is: without God’s total transformation of my life—this blog and this website would not exist, and moreover, my ability to create art and to persevere in general—would not be possible!

How could I not acknowledge His amazing grace in my life?

The point is—that I owe everything to God’s saving grace and ongoing mercy in my life.

Therefore, in all things, I hope to give glory to God.

Romans 12:3 — For I say through the grace that was given me, to everyone who is among you, not to think of yourself more highly than you ought to think, but to think reasonably, as God has apportioned to each person a measure of faith.

Email contact: HSophiaHolland@gmail.com